Overwhelmed

I'm feeling a bit overwhelmed with what I WANT to do vs. what I am able to do.

For instance:

There are days when I want to get the housework done and I can't.
There are days when I want to be in the garden and I can't.
There are days when I want to be at the computer and I can't.

I need to focus on what I can do...

I can give words of encouragement.
I can show my family that I love them.
I can direct my household from the couch.
I can talk on the phone while resting.
I can share a movie with my kids while on the couch resting.
I can read lots of books on those days when I need extra rest.
I can always pray, resting or not.
I can rest and enjoy the breezes that gently blow through my living room windows.
I can enjoy my time homeschooling my guys.
I can sit and enjoy the ride, while someone else drives us to the beach.

I have more CAN-do's than CAN'T-do's.

Brain Fog & Forgetting Things

I'm struggling with coherency. I can't seem to get a thought moving, much less have a complete one, once I figure out what I'm trying to say.  This brain fog is really something today. Yesterday was... actually, the whole past... 10 days or so has been terrible.  As a family, we are going through several emotional events. I think I just have so much on my plate that my fibro brain is on overload. Hell, even if I didn't have fibro, I'd be on a mental overload.

I like Valerian for my muscle pains and as a sleep aid -- and as an anti-anxiety.  I also have some Valium, but the Valerian actually works better for me! I forgot to get my prescription for a new anxiety med - twice. Tomorrow I can't get it because I'll be gone all day, so  hopefully, Friday I can get it.  I'll use the Valerian for now.

Today, my pain is manageable. It's the shoulders and arms today.

Fibro Fog & Tetanus Shot

My pain causes me to to have a foggy brain.  Even typing this is slow going because I am struggling with processing coherent thoughts as well as being concerned with spelling and typos.

I had a tetanus shot today. The nurse was funny. She said, "Oh, you have fibro don't you? I'm sorry." and POKE she went.  I  had to laugh. I laugh even harder when I retell it to my friends, because then I get to exaggerate how aggressive her poke was - when it really was just a normal poke. She said it was really, really, really, really (1, 2, 3, 4... yup 4x's) gonna hurt. It DID TOO!!  I hope it isn't like this tomorrow!

The pain is back and legs today -- and the shoulder that got poked!

A Day Centered On Pain

I am in alot of fucking pain!

Today

Endo pain

&

Fibro pain

Work in the morning --- all day long

Four pills instead of two

Two more pills instead of one

Endo in front

Fibro

in back, legs, neck and upper arms.

Arms Today

Today, it's the arms that don't like being attached to my main frame. Too bad for them. They have to stay put. I can't take them off!! I don't know why they ache today - I guess fibro doesn't need a reason.

The meds that my doctor gave me the other day -- they are way too strong for me. In fact, I think after a few days, they caused a jittery nervousness in my system.  I couldn't fall asleep like I normally did before I started the meds.  Then, after finally falling asleep, I didn't wake up until 9:30 a.m. yesterday and almost 10 a.m. today.  Normally, I'm awake by 6:30-7a.m. and I'm bouncing outta bed.  On these meds, I noticed that I'm half asleep, groggy, foggy in the brain and not functioning properly until Noon or later.  This just won't do.  So, I'm stopping this med.  I think I'll just ask for a 5 mg. Valium or something. This 30 mg. pill is way too strong.

Doctoring

I had a doctor appointment this morning. I had lots of questions about fibromyalgia and sleeping.  He confirmed all of my concerns and told me not to worry.  Apparently, I have every trigger point and a high pain tolerance.  He gently scolded me for waiting to come in. I gently reminded him that I want to be as natural as possible.  I also said that I didn't want anything in my medical records yet for several reasons. One being that herbal remedies seem to help with muscle pain. Another reason being insurance.

When he mentioned pain tolerance levels and different meds to take. I said that none of the things I mentioned consistently keep me from working - that I can work thru/with the pain whether or not I take an herbal muscle relaxant(s) or not.  They certainly help at alleviating the pain though.  At this point he changed his mind on what to prescribe.

I have a problem staying asleep. Falling asleep is easy, staying there is another ballgame. He was going to give me an antidepressant - I'm not depressed. It's a mild antidepressant, but great for sleeping.  Then he changed his mind.  Let's try something else. The big question then was, when do I take it? Do I take it at 2 a.m. when I wake up? I don't need help falling asleep, just staying asleep. He suggested I try it AT bedtime for a week, to see if I stay asleep.

Then I asked if it will make me bloated or fat - no real answer. I should have asked if it would strain my kidneys.... I forgot that.

So, questions answered and maybe there will be a full 8 hours of sleep around the corner.  Wish me pleasant dreams.

Weather Front?

This card isn't my design, I saw it on
etsy - I think by a J. Cuthbertson.

The weather was pretty steady this past weekend. While Friday was fraught with waves, Saturday and Sunday were wonderful pain free days.

Today is another story. The forecast for tomorrow is 80% chance of a snow 'storm'. I wonder if this is the reason for the change in my pain.  I had a good night's rest both Sat. & Sun., but today I awoke with an achy right side of the whole length of my body. Honestly, head-to-toe I'm aching and I have no explanation as to why.

I'm told that's the deal with fibro - that there is no rhyme or reason to one's pain.  Is that what is going on with me?