Three-day Flare Up

How long does a flare up last? Mine last about three days it seems.  My last one was three days and a little more, but I was able to function and go to work so at the end of it.

The weather has been wonderful the past few days. After a flare up I feel like Wonder Woman! I have to be careful to not overdo - lest I go right back into waves of pain! It's been alright though. I got all caught up on laundry, dishes, dusting up golden retriever fuzz and cooking! I miss cooking the most.

So, since I have the morning yet, I'm off to jump rope and then bake some gluten-free brownies!

Black Bean Gluten-Free Brownie Recipe

When I Hurt

I don't know if I've used that as a title once before or not, but when I hurt I hurt alot and I just want to say, "Fuck it all."

Now, I know that isn't the most intelligent or creative thing I could say, but when I'm in pain, I really don't give a flying fuck what anyone thinks. I'm hurting. I'm cranky when I hurt. I may not always be cranky openly - sometimes I'm cranky on the inside. Like tonight when I had to work. I was cranky on the inside. The thoughts inside my head were mean. I didn't speak any of those thoughts, because they were irrational and not "ME".  However, when I'm hurting I do tend to drop the f-bomb a bit more.  Sometimes people will notice and they will say things like, "I didn't know you swore!"  Well, of COURSE I swear. It's just that USUALLY, I'm bigger than that little bomb of mine. USUALLY, I'm more creative. USUALLY, I'm more patient and can endure more.

But, not today. Today I hurt and I don't give a flying fuck what anyone thinks of me. I will be understanding with you - please be understanding towards me. Actually, today - pain day #3 - I don't care if you understand or not! LOL  USUALLY, I will ask for your patience and understanding, but not today.

I've been hurting for three days now.  I was medicated for the first two. Tonight, I'm not medicated because I had to drive. However, I will be going to bed soon and you can bet you sweet pjammas that I will have a medicated slumber tonight.

Overwhelmed

I'm feeling a bit overwhelmed with what I WANT to do vs. what I am able to do.

For instance:

There are days when I want to get the housework done and I can't.
There are days when I want to be in the garden and I can't.
There are days when I want to be at the computer and I can't.

I need to focus on what I can do...

I can give words of encouragement.
I can show my family that I love them.
I can direct my household from the couch.
I can talk on the phone while resting.
I can share a movie with my kids while on the couch resting.
I can read lots of books on those days when I need extra rest.
I can always pray, resting or not.
I can rest and enjoy the breezes that gently blow through my living room windows.
I can enjoy my time homeschooling my guys.
I can sit and enjoy the ride, while someone else drives us to the beach.

I have more CAN-do's than CAN'T-do's.

Brain Fog & Forgetting Things

I'm struggling with coherency. I can't seem to get a thought moving, much less have a complete one, once I figure out what I'm trying to say.  This brain fog is really something today. Yesterday was... actually, the whole past... 10 days or so has been terrible.  As a family, we are going through several emotional events. I think I just have so much on my plate that my fibro brain is on overload. Hell, even if I didn't have fibro, I'd be on a mental overload.

I like Valerian for my muscle pains and as a sleep aid -- and as an anti-anxiety.  I also have some Valium, but the Valerian actually works better for me! I forgot to get my prescription for a new anxiety med - twice. Tomorrow I can't get it because I'll be gone all day, so  hopefully, Friday I can get it.  I'll use the Valerian for now.

Today, my pain is manageable. It's the shoulders and arms today.

Fibro Fog & Tetanus Shot

My pain causes me to to have a foggy brain.  Even typing this is slow going because I am struggling with processing coherent thoughts as well as being concerned with spelling and typos.

I had a tetanus shot today. The nurse was funny. She said, "Oh, you have fibro don't you? I'm sorry." and POKE she went.  I  had to laugh. I laugh even harder when I retell it to my friends, because then I get to exaggerate how aggressive her poke was - when it really was just a normal poke. She said it was really, really, really, really (1, 2, 3, 4... yup 4x's) gonna hurt. It DID TOO!!  I hope it isn't like this tomorrow!

The pain is back and legs today -- and the shoulder that got poked!

A Day Centered On Pain

I am in alot of fucking pain!

Today

Endo pain

&

Fibro pain

Work in the morning --- all day long

Four pills instead of two

Two more pills instead of one

Endo in front

Fibro

in back, legs, neck and upper arms.

Arms Today

Today, it's the arms that don't like being attached to my main frame. Too bad for them. They have to stay put. I can't take them off!! I don't know why they ache today - I guess fibro doesn't need a reason.

The meds that my doctor gave me the other day -- they are way too strong for me. In fact, I think after a few days, they caused a jittery nervousness in my system.  I couldn't fall asleep like I normally did before I started the meds.  Then, after finally falling asleep, I didn't wake up until 9:30 a.m. yesterday and almost 10 a.m. today.  Normally, I'm awake by 6:30-7a.m. and I'm bouncing outta bed.  On these meds, I noticed that I'm half asleep, groggy, foggy in the brain and not functioning properly until Noon or later.  This just won't do.  So, I'm stopping this med.  I think I'll just ask for a 5 mg. Valium or something. This 30 mg. pill is way too strong.